5 Essential Worksheets for Discernment Counseling

Understanding Discernment Counseling

Discernment counseling is a unique approach to couples therapy that focuses on helping individuals decide whether to work on their marriage or move towards separation or divorce. This type of counseling is particularly useful when one partner is uncertain about the future of the relationship, while the other is more clear about their intentions. Discernment counseling provides a safe and neutral environment for both partners to explore their feelings, concerns, and options.

The Importance of Worksheets in Discernment Counseling

Worksheets can be a valuable tool in discernment counseling, allowing individuals to reflect on their thoughts, feelings, and behaviors in a more structured and intentional way. By using worksheets, couples can gain a deeper understanding of themselves and their relationship, which can inform their decision-making process. Here are five essential worksheets that can be used in discernment counseling:

1. Relationship History Worksheet

The relationship history worksheet is designed to help individuals reflect on the key events, experiences, and patterns that have shaped their relationship. This worksheet can include questions such as:

• What were the most significant events in your relationship?
• How have you handled conflicts and challenges in the past?
• What are some of the most positive and negative patterns in your relationship?

💡 Note: This worksheet can help individuals identify patterns and themes in their relationship that may be contributing to their current uncertainty.

2. Reasons for Staying and Leaving Worksheet

This worksheet is designed to help individuals clarify their reasons for staying in or leaving the relationship. It can include questions such as:

• What are the reasons I want to stay in this relationship?

• What are the reasons I want to leave this relationship?

• What are my deal-breakers?

• Reasons for Staying:

  • Love and commitment
  • Fear of being alone
  • Financial security

• Reasons for Leaving:

  • Lack of intimacy and connection
  • Unresolved conflicts
  • Differences in values and goals

📝 Note: This worksheet can help individuals identify the underlying motivations and concerns that are driving their decision-making process.

3. Values and Goals Worksheet

This worksheet is designed to help individuals clarify their personal values and goals, and how they align with their relationship. It can include questions such as:

• What are my core values and priorities?

• What are my long-term goals and aspirations?

• How does my relationship align with my values and goals?

• Core Values:

  • Honesty and integrity
  • Respect and empathy
  • Trust and loyalty

• Long-term Goals:

  • Build a successful career
  • Travel and explore new places
  • Start a family

🔄 Note: This worksheet can help individuals identify potential areas of alignment and misalignment between their personal values and goals and their relationship.

4. Conflict and Communication Worksheet

This worksheet is designed to help individuals reflect on their conflict and communication patterns in the relationship. It can include questions such as:

• What are some common conflict patterns in our relationship?

• How do we typically communicate during conflicts?

• What are some strategies for improving our conflict and communication skills?

• Common Conflict Patterns:

  • Avoidance and withdrawal
  • Escalation and blaming
  • Defensiveness and denial

• Communication Strategies:

  • Active listening
  • Empathy and understanding
  • Problem-solving and compromise

💬 Note: This worksheet can help individuals identify areas for improvement in their conflict and communication skills, and develop strategies for managing conflicts in a healthier way.

5. Next Steps Worksheet

This worksheet is designed to help individuals clarify their next steps in the discernment process. It can include questions such as:

• What are my next steps in this process?

• What do I need to do to move forward?

• What are some potential obstacles and challenges that I may face?

• Next Steps:

  • Schedule a follow-up counseling session
  • Have an open and honest conversation with my partner
  • Take time for personal reflection and contemplation

• Potential Obstacles:

  • Fear of uncertainty and change
  • Resistance to compromise and growth
  • Difficulty in letting go of past hurts and resentments

🔜 Note: This worksheet can help individuals develop a clear plan for moving forward in the discernment process, and anticipate potential challenges and obstacles that they may face.

In conclusion, these five worksheets can be valuable tools in the discernment counseling process, helping individuals to clarify their thoughts, feelings, and behaviors, and make a more informed decision about their relationship. By using these worksheets, couples can gain a deeper understanding of themselves and their relationship, and develop a more intentional and thoughtful approach to their decision-making process.